South African schools are spaces where children’s identities are shaped by outdated gender norms or uplifted through inclusive, forward-thinking practices.
I'd loathe to think of schools, parents and educators with only two cookie cutters: boy or girl.
My son, once joyfully drawn to pink and ballet, encountered subtle pressures that tied colors, roles, and identities to rigid binaries.
Insecure people in his environment gently nudged him from ballet toward tap dance. His father suggested I was pushing ballet and tap, an idea that stemmed from others, not me. My other son said, “Dad forced me to do football.” Indeed, his father played football in school.
I faced accusations of imposing my own unfulfilled childhood dreams on him or confusing him. One tannie said, "It's your job to show him how to be a boy." Another implied the devil was at work with my son.
This complex challenge, woven into school plays, bathroom policies, and peer interactions, calls for thoughtful, proactive solutions.
By reshaping school environments, encouraging open community dialogue, and leveraging policy frameworks, fostering spaces where every child’s identity is celebrated. The journey toward inclusivity begins by addressing the subtle forces shaping young minds. If we honor dietary preferences like avoiding bacon, surely my son’s love for pink and his right to feel safe in bathrooms deserve similar consideration.
Decoding Hidden Norms: A Child’s Fading Love for Pink
My son started school with a vibrant love for pink, embraced by parents who taught him colors know no gender. Yet, in Grade R and Grade 1, peer hesitations and school activities—like plays casting boys as heroes and girls as damsels—hinted that pink was “not for boys.” I chose private schools, hoping they’d lead change, but discriminatory practices persisted. These quiet cues, embedded in daily routines, eroded his confidence, exposing the intricate nature of gender norms. Schools and parents can counter this by adopting creative solutions like gender-neutral casting, allowing a pink-loving child to play any role—hero, villain, or beyond—sparking creativity and self-worth (SABC News, 2022). This shift lays the foundation for reimagining school culture.
Rewriting the Script: School Plays as Catalysts for Change
School plays, powerful tools for self-expression, often reinforce gender stereotypes. Last year, my son’s school, led by a Directress who claimed progressive values, staged a play with girls in tutus and boys as knights, sidelining his identity despite her own child’s gender-diverse journey.
When challenged, she deflected with unrelated “pro-choice” arguments, revealing a disconnect between words and actions (IOL, 2022). My son, discouraged, said, “Mommy, I want to do set design,” but that wasn’t an option, as educators overlooked children’s voices. By crafting gender-neutral scripts and casting based on passion, not gender, schools can break stereotypes, letting children explore limitless roles (SABC News, 2022). This change should extend beyond the stage to address practical barriers, like access to safe facilities.
Securing Safe Havens: The Bathroom Conundrum
Inclusivity falters when basic needs are unmet. At his new school, my son faced cruel taunts from boys who frightened him from the bathroom, calling him “a girl.” Too scared to tell teachers, he relied on me to escort him, a stark reminder of his vulnerability.
The Department of Basic Education’s (DBE) push for gender-neutral facilities provides a roadmap, though implementation raises privacy and safety concerns (IOL, 2022). Schools can adopt lockable stalls or supervised unisex spaces, guided by the DBE’s consultation process, to ensure safety for all (SABC News, 2022). These practical steps, paired with community engagement, help dismantle deeper cultural resistance.
Disarming Resistance: Strategic Community Engagement
The push for gender-neutral policies sparks heated debates, often rooted in fear and misinformation. The 2022 DBE guideline leak triggered backlash, with parents like Brian Ceylon raising safety concerns and groups like the Muslim Judicial Council arguing parental rights were at risk (The South African, 2022; IOL, 2022). Yet, the DBE’s clarifications and ongoing consultations offer a chance to bridge divides (SABC News, 2022). Schools can host transparent forums, as Juané van der Merwe from Fedsas suggests, sharing stories like my son’s—who goes through phases of mostly hiding his pink at school but wears it at home—to highlight the cost of rigid norms (Bedfordview Edenvale News, 2022). By thoughtfully humanising inclusivity, schools can align communities with change, paving the way for systemic solutions.
A Tactical Roadmap: Forging Inclusive Schools
To create schools where identities thrive, clear, actionable steps are essential. This challenge is complex requiring strategic execution and community alignment, and these measures light the way:
These focused actions, grounded in policy and dialogue, build a foundation for lasting change, making inclusivity the norm.
Conclusion: Crafting Schools Where Identities Soar
South African schools have the opportunity to redefine childhood, creating spaces where children like my son can embrace pink—or any identity—without fear. Gender-neutral facilities, reimagined school plays, and courageous community engagement are not just reforms; they are bold steps toward acceptance. While parental concerns, voiced in Rasool’s petition and media debates, deserve consideration, they should not overshadow the needs of gender-diverse children facing exclusion (Sunday World, 2022; The South African, 2022). By implementing precise solutions and embracing the DBE’s evolving guidelines, schools can ensure no child fears loving a color, playing a role, or being themselves. Let’s build schools where every identity flourishes, free from outdated norms.
Parent's and educators should not be the reason why children and adults are locked in closets.
References
Bedfordview Edenvale News. (2022). Gender-neutral toilets spark debate. Retrieved from https://bedfordviewedenvalenews.co.za
BusinessTech. (2020). New guidelines for transgender pupils in South African schools. Retrieved from https://businesstech.co.za
Change.org. (2022). Petition against DBE gender-neutral policies. Retrieved from https://change.org
IOL. (2022). Department of Education’s gender-neutral uniform push sparks debate. Retrieved from https://iol.co.za
IOL. (2023). DBE clarifies gender-neutral policy misconceptions. Retrieved from https://iol.co.za
Lawyers for Human Rights. (2022). Statement on inclusive education policies. Retrieved from https://lhr.org.za
News24. (2022). Bullying of gender-diverse learners in South African schools. Retrieved from https://news24.com
SABC News. (2022). DBE guidelines on gender-neutral facilities under consultation. Retrieved from https://sabcnews.com
Sunday World. (2022). Parents oppose DBE’s gender-neutral policies. Retrieved from https://sundayworld.co.za
The South African. (2022). Gender-neutral bathrooms: Parents raise safety concerns. Retrieved from https://thesouthafrican.com